If Left Unsaid

I don't know when or how it happened; you and I speak a different language now. I feel like my words are all broken, I can't get any of them to work right or mean what they are supposed to. I find no cellar door, I find no poetry, I find no meaning. I just don't know how to talk to you anymore.

A Proposal

Dear Future Husband,
              I promise to love you with one hundred percent of my heart. I promise to always try and make you happy. I promise to love you just as you are and not try to make you anything else. I promise to love every unique part of you, and to cultivate your youness whenever I can. I promise to be your best friend and to share my heart with you. I promise I won't need the world or the sun or the moon to be brought down and given to me as a gift, I won't need a lot of money, I won't need a fancy car, I will only need your love and happiness to foster mine. I promise to keep looking for you until I find you. I promise not to lose hope that you are out there somewhere and I will find you some day. I promise I'm out here, waiting to find you too.

Love,
      Your Future Wife. 

Abandonment Issues

There was a time when I was real, I know there was. At least, I think there was.

Imaginary Worlds

There are giant ball pits and you have to take a slide to get everywhere. No one cares what you look like or what you wear only that you are yourself. It rains mint chip ice cream every Wednesday and you only have to go to work if you like your job. The libraries always have the books you want to read and there is always a giant fluffy chair available. Saturdays are adventure days and everyone gets on a giant pirate ship to sail for distant shores and buried treasure. You love me here and we make each other immeasurably happy.

I like the idea we got to be happy together somewhere, at least.

Once In A While

It's a little sad, but I need people to ignore me sometimes. If they don't I get this irrational fear I'm required for people to be happy. What happens after that is a blind panic that I might disappoint them, and the pressure cracks me like an egg. I know it's ridiculous. I hope I get over this someday, because I would really really like to make you happy :)

In The Future

When I think about being happy, you are always the one making it happen. I wonder if you realize just how precious you are to me. I wish I knew the right words, but you were always better at that than me anyway.

This Is Where I Live

I don't care what tomorrow brings, as long as it brings an end to tonight. I hope my life does not end up being just a series of unfortunate events. Tonight, right now, through the tears of my defeat I don't feel like much. The trouble with believing in things wholeheartedly is if defeat comes, it is your whole heart that gets defeated. Though I may not have found it today, my hope still lies with the future. I get up every single morning with the possibility, though yesterday did not, today might belong to me.  I am noble enough, and tomorrow is close enough that one more blow, though it may crush and wrench and break, will not kill. The world doesn't care if I failed today, it takes me along ceaselessly and always gives me another chance to prove myself.